Hello, Internet!
I know, it's been forever since I've posted a blog. Like, years.
Life has been.... chaotic.
I've been struggling to find a balance in my struggles with my physical and mental health. Just when I thought I was getting a handle on both, the pandemic started, and I spiraled again. I'd climb out of the darkness, just to have life throw something else Big and Scary at me.
While things were practically at a stand still due to Pandemic Protocols, we discovered there was black mold in our apartment, in the walls of our bedroom. And we had to pretty much live with it, because things were pretty much at a stand still because of the Pandemic.
Several months later, we finally got out of the Hall of the Mold King, only to wind up in The Swamp of Sadness. We were in an In-Law suite in the basement of a condo, and the owners failed to disclose that if it rained, the emergency access into the basement would flood and come under the door.
They refused to do anything about it, because they wanted their insurance to sue the condo complex because it was the complex's fault that it kept flooding. Gee. Thanks for making us suffer for your genius idea.
So now we're stuck in a living place that has soaked carpets that we can't get/keep dry because it keeps raining.....
Cue an emergency move out of the city.
So ya! I'm back to living in London Ontario again! Hi folks!
While all of THAT was going on, I was also trying to get off of OW (Ontario Works/Welfare) and onto ODSP (Ontario Disability Support Program). I've been spending tons of time and energy jumping through hoops for the government. It's been taking away from my ability to live my life, from being able to focus on my own self help and personal growth. So, as of now, I'm done with their bullshit.
I finally got my ID renewed and address updated. It'll take 4-6 weeks to arrive, during which time I am focusing on getting ready to start serious focus on camming.
That's right, folks! Angie Nash, Companion, is now going to be Angie Nash, Cam Girl extraordinaire!
Stay tuned for more details, but my target platforms are Chaturbate and JustForFans.
Find me around the web, doing all sorts of things at:
Twitter
Ko-Fi (search AngieNash42)
FetLife
YouTube
Twitch
Saturday, 11 June 2022
Monday, 4 July 2016
What I said vs What You Heard
The theme for this post has been a long time brewing, but the launching off point today comes from a conversation with Kaelan Rhywiol (updated website here), a dear friend, and amazing Erotica writer. Our conversation arose when she asked my opinion on ablest language. My out of context reply was
Nash: depends on the sitch. Context is the only time I usually get my back up.
When it comes to myself, I quite often refer to myself as a cripple or a gymp. I call my cane my cripple stick, etc
She went on to clarify
Rhywiol: In particular I'm wondering about words like stupid, dumb, etc... saw a post saying they were ablist and not to use them... but how the fuck... if we as writers choose not to use every word with negative connotations we'll soon have no words to use at all? True?
To which I had to say
Nash: Everyone has their own, often obscure, trigger words. The day I let other ppl's perceptions make me second guess every use of every word is the day I quit the internet. *shrugs*
I think it is good practice to prevent structuring a post that may sound targeted. But use whatever lingo you feel like.
For Kaelan, the struggle stems from the knowledge that as an author and (gasp!) public internet presence, and as someone who has been tortured for the very truth of her very self, she understands, deeply, how words can harm. She would never knowingly choose to harm someone with the words she uses, but at the same time, she's a writer, an entertainer and tries to support her followers (who tend to be one variety of her own type of person or another.) On top of that, she has a professional image to craft and much as writing is a calling and enjoyment, it's also a business. The last thing she, or anyone in that position wants, is to accidentally say something to make fans feel marginalized. Especially when she's so experienced in feeling marginalized herself.
There are going to be times when you've caused some hurt feelings, yes. But there has to be a limit to the amount we police ourselves, or we risk developing at best, a complex, at worst, an ulcer. I am not above admitting that negative feedback describing me as a bigot of one form or another have caused me a great deal of personal anguish over the years.
At the end of the day, I police myself by the following concepts
1- You cannot control how others react to you, only how you react to them.
2- Something said as a generalization, while not meant as a targeted statement, has the potential to ruffle feathers. Each of us must weigh the risk vs. reward of the possible fall out.
3- It's taken me the better part of 3 decades to find the courage to HAVE a public voice. I, personally, will not allow those who choose to skew my meaning or twist my words, to silence that voice.
4- Some ppl are capital V-Victims. No matter how much you attempt to convey compassion, your words will not be welcome.
So, in closing, I'll tell you what I tell anyone who asks me about what and how they write. "Write for you first, the people you're writing to/for second, and the world at large not at all. Not everyone's opinion matters."
Nash: depends on the sitch. Context is the only time I usually get my back up.
When it comes to myself, I quite often refer to myself as a cripple or a gymp. I call my cane my cripple stick, etc
She went on to clarify
Rhywiol: In particular I'm wondering about words like stupid, dumb, etc... saw a post saying they were ablist and not to use them... but how the fuck... if we as writers choose not to use every word with negative connotations we'll soon have no words to use at all? True?
To which I had to say
Nash: Everyone has their own, often obscure, trigger words. The day I let other ppl's perceptions make me second guess every use of every word is the day I quit the internet. *shrugs*
I think it is good practice to prevent structuring a post that may sound targeted. But use whatever lingo you feel like.
For Kaelan, the struggle stems from the knowledge that as an author and (gasp!) public internet presence, and as someone who has been tortured for the very truth of her very self, she understands, deeply, how words can harm. She would never knowingly choose to harm someone with the words she uses, but at the same time, she's a writer, an entertainer and tries to support her followers (who tend to be one variety of her own type of person or another.) On top of that, she has a professional image to craft and much as writing is a calling and enjoyment, it's also a business. The last thing she, or anyone in that position wants, is to accidentally say something to make fans feel marginalized. Especially when she's so experienced in feeling marginalized herself.
There are going to be times when you've caused some hurt feelings, yes. But there has to be a limit to the amount we police ourselves, or we risk developing at best, a complex, at worst, an ulcer. I am not above admitting that negative feedback describing me as a bigot of one form or another have caused me a great deal of personal anguish over the years.
At the end of the day, I police myself by the following concepts
1- You cannot control how others react to you, only how you react to them.
2- Something said as a generalization, while not meant as a targeted statement, has the potential to ruffle feathers. Each of us must weigh the risk vs. reward of the possible fall out.
3- It's taken me the better part of 3 decades to find the courage to HAVE a public voice. I, personally, will not allow those who choose to skew my meaning or twist my words, to silence that voice.
4- Some ppl are capital V-Victims. No matter how much you attempt to convey compassion, your words will not be welcome.
So, in closing, I'll tell you what I tell anyone who asks me about what and how they write. "Write for you first, the people you're writing to/for second, and the world at large not at all. Not everyone's opinion matters."
Snapshot of My Mental Not-So-Merri-Go-Round
Where to start.
Still getting used to how the world around me feels without any meds whatsoever. That's no perscription pain killers, no anti anxiety meds, no depression meds. Let me tell you, its not as much fun as it sounds.
I've always had a Hulk like temper when my long fuse finally burns out. For the first little while, that fuse was exceptionally shorter. I've gotten back a fair bit of my thick skin, so I can at least flip through social media without either immediately table flipping or dissolving into tears. But when something finally wedges under my skin, I still have no happy medium. Rage or Despair appear to be my only levels of 'affected'.
Any time I lose my temper, I feel like a failure. I worry that I'm being vilified, whether or not I deserve it this time.
And let's not forget the ridiculous back and forth malarkey from my medical team. The Head Dr's I'd been dealing with of late lack some serious bedside manners. For ppl who's job it is to listen for a living, their listening skills SUCK!
"So what is it that you want from us?" Guys. srsly. I tried to kill myself. Pretty sure it's more or less mandatory that I now talk to someone about that, What do you think????
And then there is the fact that the Dr's are not only disagreeing about my mental diagnosis, but also what meds to take. "Well you should be taking this because, and they nvr should have put you on that because...." I am trying not to blame anyone, but it seems that the particular cocktail they had me taking before may very well have contributed to my incident in March. Thanks so much for considering that before you added yet another scrip that can potentially cause/aggravate depression.
I've read a hundred blogs that talk about Dr's prescribing or over prescribing. I do my very best to be my own advocate when it comes to knowing about my illness, my history, and my list of meds. But come on guys, one of the primary reasons I quit my job is because my cognitive abilities are affected. I can barely do my own thinking, never mind do your thinking for you.
I miss the old me. The Me who had the self confidence to be an active sex worker and sw advocate. Hell, the Me that had the ability to be an anything advocate! I can barely stand up for myself when someone steps on a nerve, these days. I either feel like I'm over reacting, or that I don't matter. Or worse yet, I get negative feed back and crumbling into a blubbering pile of self doubt. That is so not the Me I've spend decades becoming.
Oh wow. Talk about a msg from the universe. Eminem's Beautiful just came on....
My biggest challenge right now, staying true to me.
I so badly want to shout from the rooftops about what I'm going through, because I don't want anyone to ever feel like they are alone. But it hurts. It hurts to admit that I'm broken. It hurts to be broken. It hurts to face the world while I'm broken....
That's enough for now. I'm going to go crawl inside the head of one of my fictional characters, either play a video game or do some writing.
Blessed Be.
Still getting used to how the world around me feels without any meds whatsoever. That's no perscription pain killers, no anti anxiety meds, no depression meds. Let me tell you, its not as much fun as it sounds.
I've always had a Hulk like temper when my long fuse finally burns out. For the first little while, that fuse was exceptionally shorter. I've gotten back a fair bit of my thick skin, so I can at least flip through social media without either immediately table flipping or dissolving into tears. But when something finally wedges under my skin, I still have no happy medium. Rage or Despair appear to be my only levels of 'affected'.
Any time I lose my temper, I feel like a failure. I worry that I'm being vilified, whether or not I deserve it this time.
And let's not forget the ridiculous back and forth malarkey from my medical team. The Head Dr's I'd been dealing with of late lack some serious bedside manners. For ppl who's job it is to listen for a living, their listening skills SUCK!
"So what is it that you want from us?" Guys. srsly. I tried to kill myself. Pretty sure it's more or less mandatory that I now talk to someone about that, What do you think????
And then there is the fact that the Dr's are not only disagreeing about my mental diagnosis, but also what meds to take. "Well you should be taking this because, and they nvr should have put you on that because...." I am trying not to blame anyone, but it seems that the particular cocktail they had me taking before may very well have contributed to my incident in March. Thanks so much for considering that before you added yet another scrip that can potentially cause/aggravate depression.
I've read a hundred blogs that talk about Dr's prescribing or over prescribing. I do my very best to be my own advocate when it comes to knowing about my illness, my history, and my list of meds. But come on guys, one of the primary reasons I quit my job is because my cognitive abilities are affected. I can barely do my own thinking, never mind do your thinking for you.
I miss the old me. The Me who had the self confidence to be an active sex worker and sw advocate. Hell, the Me that had the ability to be an anything advocate! I can barely stand up for myself when someone steps on a nerve, these days. I either feel like I'm over reacting, or that I don't matter. Or worse yet, I get negative feed back and crumbling into a blubbering pile of self doubt. That is so not the Me I've spend decades becoming.
Oh wow. Talk about a msg from the universe. Eminem's Beautiful just came on....
My biggest challenge right now, staying true to me.
I so badly want to shout from the rooftops about what I'm going through, because I don't want anyone to ever feel like they are alone. But it hurts. It hurts to admit that I'm broken. It hurts to be broken. It hurts to face the world while I'm broken....
That's enough for now. I'm going to go crawl inside the head of one of my fictional characters, either play a video game or do some writing.
Blessed Be.
Sunday, 20 March 2016
Saturday, 19 March 2016
Medical Update; March 19th
Note: See Previous post for context.
Alrighty! Doctor's appointment update:
So this was a follow up appointment with my GP (Gerneral Practitioner, aka Family Dr) after my release from the hospital this past Saturday.
Topics of focus were
-referral to psychological team within my Dr's Medical Practice Family.
Results: The psyche team at the hospital was meant to see me again on the Monday, armed with pamphlets and further information. However my liver got better faster than expected, and I was discharged on Saturday.
No follow-up had been done through my GP (by them), so I will be chasing down the information they were going to provide, and then work with my GP to follow through on those referrals.
-follow up with a coping skills group via the aforementioned
Results: See above.
The coping skills group is specifically targeted at ppl with mental health issues.
-pain and symptom managements (Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, Anxiety, Insomnia, Migraines, etc)
Results: I've got the contact information for Fibro program out of the Women's College Hospital, University Health Network, in Toronto. Specifically, the group that focuses on Environmental Health. (FMS, CFS, Chemical sensitivities, etc). I'll be getting in touch with them, and from what I understand, this will be my long term tool for all things Fibro.
-blood work ordered to check up on liver function
Results: likely to be drawn on Monday, as I have a regularly scheduled neurologist appointment then, so will try to kill two birds with one stone. Thankfully this is not a fasting test.
NOTE: Hubby is off Thursdays, Fridays & Sundays. He will be attending all/most appointments with me. I already have someone coming with me for Monday, as he will not be available.
-my ten thousand questions about weaning myself back onto vitamins and the use of non Rx (rx = prescription) treatments for managing pain and other symptoms, after liver trauma
Results: I'm a professional patient, however I did not take biology or anything in classes, so things like, how a liver functions, how resilient it is, and what to expect insofar as performance and/or the need the coddle my organs after Acetaminophen toxicity (the official Dx (Dx = diagnosis) on my Hospital discharge papers), are things I have needed to ask the Powers That Be.
The Dr says I am free to slowly start taking my vitamins again, and that the non Rx methods I have asked about using for pain and symptom management all passed his inspection. He advised that I take things slow, of course, but only as a precaution, not as any active concern for my liver.
While in the hospital, everyone was shocked at how well my liver coped. I did not have any jaundice, no tenderness to the touch, and once the bad numbers started dropping back to normal, they did so in leaps and bounds.
Common consensus is because I have always been so religious about treating my liver with kidd gloves due to all of the things that I was putting in my body on a regular basis. Specifically insofar as keeping an eye out for signs of liver distress and I keep hydrated, carefully striking a balance between urine that is too dark or too clear.
Bottom line, I'm to take it slow, but everything looks fine on that front.
-possible discontinuation of previous Rx
Results: After careful discussion about my reasons to want to, and my acceptance that it may not turn out like I hope, my Dr has supported my desire to discontinue all previous meds (Lyrica, Cymbalta, Cipralex, Tramadol/Tridural). We are, however, going to try paxil for in the moment treatment of acute anxiety. That's the only symptom (panic attacks) that I don't feel up to working through on my own. Yes, meditation works for me, but I have to be able to stop spinning long enough to DO the meditation ;)wink emoticon
There will be a longer, more in depth post at a later date going into the whys and whatnots on that front.
Suffice it to say that I am excited/nervous to see how pain and symptom management go without Rx, as well as the journey to rediscover what my symptoms are without the meds to keep them in check. Bottom line is, I'm relishing my renewed mental clarity since stopping the meds, and want to do everything in my power to keep that!
-reassessment of bipolar disorder Dx (the Psyche team from the hospital is leaning towards BPD- Borderline personality disorder)
Results: I'm a bit amused about this part.
My GP and the head of the Psyche team from the hospital seem to be at nearly comical odds as to their opinion of my Dx. He maintains that it's Bi polar, and she maintains that it is borderline personality disorder.
There has been no unprofessional conduct. They have not come out and said that the other doesn't know their ass from a hole in the ground. But it's there, in the subtext.
Logically, as a Professional Patient and Life Coach, I understand that GP means general practitioner. Jack of all Trades, Master of none. And while my GP happens to have done some specific work in the areas of psychotherapy, it is his area of professional interest, not his area of professional speciality.
My GP knows more about my long term health and mental health situation up until now, compared to the Psyche Dr who has just been thrown into the middle of this at it's worst. But this is still her area of specific study.
So I will be doing my due diligence and chasing down both opinions and seeking education etc on both so that I can help facilitate a Dx so I can stay on the best track in the long term insofar as managing my mental health.
Other points:
I will also be renewing my handicap parking pass, applying for ODSP (currently on OW), and scheduling an MRI with my neurologist.
Because I've been on the meds for so long, and they have been masking so many of the symptoms, it is difficult for me to tell if there are any new neurological symptoms as a result of the recent trauma. So MRI or whatever she suggests will be in the cards for the immediate future. I'll talk that over with her on Monday during my regular check up.
I think that's it for now! As always, feel free to ask questions or offer advice, etc heart emoticon
Friday, 18 March 2016
TRIGGER WARNING! An Explanation For My Recent Absense
Greetings, All.
Some of you will have noticed that I have been out of touch for a while. Some of you will know why. For the rest of you, this is going to come as somewhat of a shock. So please, do what you need to do to make sure you are braced before you continue to read.
Monday, March 7th, around 3 in the afternoon, I went through the motions of the singular most stupid and selfish act I have ever committed. I swallowed an exorberant amount of pills - mostly painkillers, the most devastating of which what an entire bottle of tylenol.
I tried to kill myself.
Hubby had gone to work. When he came home, he tried to wake me. I was verbally abusive. He assumed I’d had a bad pain day, and was drunk.
In the wee hours, I woke up vomiting. I managed to get to the shower and ran the water while I finished puking. Hubby did what came natural, started cleaning up the mess I had made from the bed to the shower.
When the puking subsided, he came to check on me, and I admitted what I had done.
911, medics, police, and a couple of friends later, I was taken to hospital. I was there until Saturday, when my physical health was declared sound enough to be released. I’d also been under the care of a Psyche team while in the hospital, and they had declared me fit to be released, with outpatient follow ups.
Those are the cold hard facts.
Now to answer the largest, ringing question; Why?
It took me a couple of days before I could give the Psyche team, and those who’d been to see me at the hospital, anything even remotely close to an answer to that. For the first couple of days, I honestly didn’t know. After a lot of reflection, I was finally able to give an answer that was the breakthrough we all needed to start feeling better, to start feeling like I was going to be okay.
I still do not have an answer to why I did it. But I can at least answer why I didn’t ask for help. Why I didn’t tap any one of the myriad of resources that I have been a staunch supporter of for me and mine.
Because I didn’t know that anything was wrong.
Coming from someone who is very introspective, and very open and honest about her many challenges, about asking for help, or a distraction whenever she’s feeling upset, this seems very hard to believe. I understand that.
I will go into my mental state during the event, at length, at a later date, suffice it to say, that when I look back, yes, I can see evidence of a pattern. A sporadic pattern over a long term, that shows me that I’ve been unplugging from life. Things as simple as not chasing down opportunities to make myself happier. Things that I know light up my life.
But, like I said, it was spread out over so long a time, that it was so difficult to recognize that pattern. The good news is, that both myself, and the Psyche team from the hospital, agree that I will in fact be able to recognize if I ever come even close to that mindset again.
I promise each and every one of you, that if I’d have realized that something was wrong, before, during, or after, I would have asked for help. I would have reached out.
The whole thing is still very surreal in many ways. I’ve been asked over and over, “What were you thinking?” That’s the problem. I wasn’t. I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t feeling. I just went through the motions.
Everytime that I think about it, I feel the terror and horror that I’d like to think I SHOULD have felt in the moment.
I have always prided myself on the fact that I have no regrets in life. That is a claim I am pleased to relinquish.
I regret what I did.
I regret that I did it at all. I regret what it has done to the people closest to me. What it’s done to the trust in those relationships. There are not enough words in the English language for me to express my feelings of apology and gratefulness to my friends, during, and since all of this.
Let me make it very clear, here, that I do NOT regret that I failed. I am VERY happy to be alive! To be able to make the most of this second chance.
I am taking this seriously. I am doing my best to be a model patient. To be cooperative, open, and honest. To not resist suggestions by friends, family, and healthcare advisors. I am also working hard at balancing taking responsibility for my actions, but not beating myself up too much.
Everything is shiny and new. Everything is novel again. I’ve always been all about the silver linings, but certainly more so at that moment. I’ve laughed more in the last week than I have in the last 3 months!
Physically, I am doing well. My liver bounced back even faster than the Dr’s had expected. I was out of the hospital a full two days sooner than we expected.
Emotionally, I am doing well. I’ve never been good at dealing with negative emotions, however, since coming home, I’ve been crying in healthy ways, and talking things out as they come up.
Spiritually, I feel amazing. My soul feels lighter than it has in years! I have a renewed perspective on life, new lows to measure against which make it so much easier to appreciate what I have. To make it easier not to complain. To be able to focus on the positives, the lessons, the opportunities.
Fibro-wise, I’m doing better than I’d have expected. I’m completely free of all meds. My pain has been much less than I expected. And my mental clarity has been remarkable. I am hoping to work with my Healthcare Team to stay off of as many of them as possible.
There is obviously a lot more to talk about. There are a lot more things to address or to get more in depth on. I am, as ever, an open book.
Please feel free to ask anything. Publically or privately.
Special thanks this week, to those who visited me in the hospital, supported my Hubby in this time of chaos, and those who have given in house assistance as I regain my feet both physically and emotionally.
I will field questions and comments as my energy allows.
I will post updates also as able.
Thank you all for you love, kindness, and understanding.
Tuesday, 12 January 2016
An Open Letter To Social Media Phishermen
I recently had need to help a dear friend craft a letter to someone who had been stringing her along with a false online dating profile. With her permission, I am reposting it here, as an Open Letter in the hopes that it may make some sort of difference, either to the victims of such things, or to the perpetrators.
Please feel free to copy it for use in reply to your own false account interactions.
__________________
What is it about preying on people like myself, people who already struggle with interpersonal connections for a myriad of reasons, not the least of which are psychological scars leading to substantial trust issues, that gives someone like you so much personal satisfaction? What do you get out of it?
Why would you post a picture that isn't yours, contact a woman who is looking for truth, continue on after being advised that I don't like games, completely misrepresenting yourself? What, exactly, is the point of all this?
Now, I suppose it's just slightly possible that those pictures are really of you. If so, I'd be happy to apologize, but considering they're from a photographers site in New Zealand, not Scotland, and are over 7 years old, I do consider it unlikely.
What do you get out of it? Are you a male who can't get it up without causing someone else distress? Do you have so little confidence in your genuine self that this is the only way you can find to garner attention from others? Is it some sort of social experiment? And if so, where do you draw the line?
In any case, how do you come to terms with the inhumane games you're playing with another human being's psyche?
I feel hurt by these actions, and I cannot understand why you've done it. Thanks for another scar, I needed one, I really did.
I genuinely feel that people such as yourself are what is wrong with the world today. Maybe nothing I've said will matter, maybe you'll just laugh it up with your friends. But I'd like to think that at least something I've said today will strike a chord and make you rethink your strategy going forward.
May Karma pay particular attention to your life; she's almost as merciless a bitch as you.
Please feel free to copy it for use in reply to your own false account interactions.
__________________
What is it about preying on people like myself, people who already struggle with interpersonal connections for a myriad of reasons, not the least of which are psychological scars leading to substantial trust issues, that gives someone like you so much personal satisfaction? What do you get out of it?
Why would you post a picture that isn't yours, contact a woman who is looking for truth, continue on after being advised that I don't like games, completely misrepresenting yourself? What, exactly, is the point of all this?
Now, I suppose it's just slightly possible that those pictures are really of you. If so, I'd be happy to apologize, but considering they're from a photographers site in New Zealand, not Scotland, and are over 7 years old, I do consider it unlikely.
What do you get out of it? Are you a male who can't get it up without causing someone else distress? Do you have so little confidence in your genuine self that this is the only way you can find to garner attention from others? Is it some sort of social experiment? And if so, where do you draw the line?
In any case, how do you come to terms with the inhumane games you're playing with another human being's psyche?
I feel hurt by these actions, and I cannot understand why you've done it. Thanks for another scar, I needed one, I really did.
I genuinely feel that people such as yourself are what is wrong with the world today. Maybe nothing I've said will matter, maybe you'll just laugh it up with your friends. But I'd like to think that at least something I've said today will strike a chord and make you rethink your strategy going forward.
May Karma pay particular attention to your life; she's almost as merciless a bitch as you.
Wednesday, 25 November 2015
Blab! Nov 25th
Come hang with us! Ask questions on any of the topics at hand, or anything we bring up in the mean time!
https://blab.im/kinte-video-games-writing-sex-chronic-illness-mental-health
After the show comments from Angie:
Wow, guys. I really didn't expect to get deep enough to start the water works. I won't apologize for the tears, but I do apologize for losing my temper. It's one of the things I struggle the most with. My mind would rather get angry than cry. Stupid reaction, but it comes with old programming. Charlette (pronounced with a hard K) and I have made peace, I promise, so just fast forward to where we're not sniping at each other if that's a trigger for you. We went back to talking educational topics after that.
Here are the links that I remembered to write down, and what they were about. And a list of people I am now following, thanks to this convo. Anyone who feels left out, please leave info/links in the comments and I will amend. Thanks all!
Links:
Handy NaNoWriMo/Writing group on Facebook!
Debt Sheperd: Personal Finance Education
The Carmen Online Radio Theater Group
Hard Requitals Official Trailer
Study Pinpoints Time of Day for Suicides
Angie's Favourite Writer Podcaster
Wiki For Degenerative Disc Disease
Wiki for Fibromyalgia
Now Following:
@LettesChat
@DebtShepherd
https://blab.im/kinte-video-games-writing-sex-chronic-illness-mental-health
After the show comments from Angie:
Wow, guys. I really didn't expect to get deep enough to start the water works. I won't apologize for the tears, but I do apologize for losing my temper. It's one of the things I struggle the most with. My mind would rather get angry than cry. Stupid reaction, but it comes with old programming. Charlette (pronounced with a hard K) and I have made peace, I promise, so just fast forward to where we're not sniping at each other if that's a trigger for you. We went back to talking educational topics after that.
Here are the links that I remembered to write down, and what they were about. And a list of people I am now following, thanks to this convo. Anyone who feels left out, please leave info/links in the comments and I will amend. Thanks all!
Links:
Handy NaNoWriMo/Writing group on Facebook!
Debt Sheperd: Personal Finance Education
The Carmen Online Radio Theater Group
Hard Requitals Official Trailer
Study Pinpoints Time of Day for Suicides
Angie's Favourite Writer Podcaster
Wiki For Degenerative Disc Disease
Wiki for Fibromyalgia
Now Following:
@LettesChat
@DebtShepherd
Thursday, 19 November 2015
Update! Nov, 2015
Well boys and girls! It's been a helluva ride this calendar year!
I've been battling chaos and drama at every turn, which of course, is no good for the Fibromyalgia, so I've been battling physical and emotional symptoms on that front as well.
However, as the year begins drawing to a close, I think it's time to look back at the small things that I've learned while dabbling in the wide world of the Net, and figure out how I can put them to work in my favour in the coming year!
Most recently, and likely most useful, was the introduction of Blab! to my universe, courtesy of Kinte of Indy Radio dot Org.
What an awesome tool! It feels like the advantages of Face Time or Google Hangouts with the recording and archiving possibilities of YouTube and the like! I still have to read the TOS to see how far MiLash and co can take it while we hang out and take your questions, but suffice it to say that I can see us having a LOT of fun online in the coming days!
Heck, maybe I'll even get brave and try to get a few minutes here and there with some of my Geek and Kink idols! *fan-girl swoon!*
For now, to watch the video which broke my Blab cherry, click here!
Don't forget to Follow and Subscribe so you can get notifications when we get up to fresh antics!
As always, you input is welcome! Comment here, or email me at TheNerdyCompanion@Gmail.Com
Stay tuned, folks! It can only get better from here!
Special mentions: (I know! I'm missing tons! But I'm new at this production notes thing!)
Olaf Barbosa @OlafBarbosa
Kinte @KinteF
Yardley @militant_marker (His unfortunate illness was how I got tagged to be online that night!)
Chris @TnerdT
Links of interest from the night:
US Presidents
Quit Smoking Like A Boss
Semi Core Studios
Indy Radio on Spreaker
All Things Kinte
I've been battling chaos and drama at every turn, which of course, is no good for the Fibromyalgia, so I've been battling physical and emotional symptoms on that front as well.
However, as the year begins drawing to a close, I think it's time to look back at the small things that I've learned while dabbling in the wide world of the Net, and figure out how I can put them to work in my favour in the coming year!
Most recently, and likely most useful, was the introduction of Blab! to my universe, courtesy of Kinte of Indy Radio dot Org.
What an awesome tool! It feels like the advantages of Face Time or Google Hangouts with the recording and archiving possibilities of YouTube and the like! I still have to read the TOS to see how far MiLash and co can take it while we hang out and take your questions, but suffice it to say that I can see us having a LOT of fun online in the coming days!Heck, maybe I'll even get brave and try to get a few minutes here and there with some of my Geek and Kink idols! *fan-girl swoon!*
For now, to watch the video which broke my Blab cherry, click here!
Don't forget to Follow and Subscribe so you can get notifications when we get up to fresh antics!
As always, you input is welcome! Comment here, or email me at TheNerdyCompanion@Gmail.Com
Stay tuned, folks! It can only get better from here!
Special mentions: (I know! I'm missing tons! But I'm new at this production notes thing!)
Olaf Barbosa @OlafBarbosa
Kinte @KinteF
Yardley @militant_marker (His unfortunate illness was how I got tagged to be online that night!)
Chris @TnerdT
Links of interest from the night:
US Presidents
Quit Smoking Like A Boss
Semi Core Studios
Indy Radio on Spreaker
All Things Kinte
Monday, 4 May 2015
Trolling For Cammers
Hi There! My name is Angie Nash!
If you have clicked a link that bought you here, it is because I am advertising paid cam work! I'm currently working from an unverified Chaturbate profile (need my passport to become verified and accept tokens/tips!). However, you can Follow me there to receive emails when I'm online! You can donate via paypal, by sending an email to TheNerdyCompanion@gmail.com, or you can buy me something from my Amazon Wishlist!
Thank you for your time and patronage! To see samples of my sexy self, check out more of my blog posts, or see me on Twitter!
If you have clicked a link that bought you here, it is because I am advertising paid cam work! I'm currently working from an unverified Chaturbate profile (need my passport to become verified and accept tokens/tips!). However, you can Follow me there to receive emails when I'm online! You can donate via paypal, by sending an email to TheNerdyCompanion@gmail.com, or you can buy me something from my Amazon Wishlist!
Thank you for your time and patronage! To see samples of my sexy self, check out more of my blog posts, or see me on Twitter!
Wednesday, 29 April 2015
Making a Global Difference
Whilst sitting in bed playing Minecraft last night, while my Boyfriend chatted at sexy girls with the ChatIW messenger program, something on the TV sparked a discussion about Global Relief Charities. I got on my high horse, and declared that I was stunned to the point of being pissed off, that a particular demographic was being left out of the opportunity to make a global difference.
Let me take a few paragraphs to expound on that very broad statement.
I will admit that I am the kind of person who prefers to get my World Event updates via social media, for the simple fact that I can choose to simply skip by the stuff that either annoys or terrifies me. Being an Empath, I have a low threshold for other people's pain. When confronted with too many atrocities at once, it makes me physically ill. Adding to the mix that I have a chronic illness which dictates its terms to both my brain and my body based on the level of physical, mental, or emotional stress that I am under, and you can see why I may choose the role of the ostrich when it comes to details about things like the Baltimore Riots, the ongoing strife in Uganda, the Ebola outbreak, the Earth Quake in Nepal, and so many other tragic World Events.
I will also admit that, again, largely due to being to ill to stay informed, I have not voted for the better part of a decade. Kind of hard to keep up on who is swinging which way in Parliament, when I'm too busy trying to but one foot in front of the other without walking out in front of a bus.
Anyway! Our lively debate was largely based on my opinion that there are not enough blatant opportunities for the Digital Revolutionaries (AKA, the generation who walk around with their faces glued to their social media, with no Earthly idea what is going on overseas if it doesn't involve Prince William, or the release day line ups in Japan for the latest iPhone) to click on a button to donate to organizations that help in Global Relief Efforts such as UNICEF, The Red Cross, the WHO (no, not the Who, the World Health Organization), Doctors Without Borders, The Red Crescent (the Muslim version of the Red Cross), Save The Children, and Many MANY more.
Based on my casual observations, through the lens of both a consumer, and a marketer, it is my opinion that there need to be more Viral, or Bright and Shiny advertisements giving this demographic something to spend their money on that is making a difference in the World Beyond The Screen. Just look at the Ice Bucket Challenge last summer, geared towards raising funds and awareness for ALS. Now, granted, that the challenge was not always done according to the original idea behind it, nor did many even understand that ALS was a degenerative illness, and not American Sign Language. However, that did not stop the ALS foundations from receiving a massive influx of donations! All fueled by the engine that is Social Media!
My soulless ginger of a boyfriend and I ended up agreeing to disagree as to whether flashy catch and grab opportunities will help or hinder the relief efforts in the long run. He maintains that it could lead to a desensitization to what opportunities there are, to the point of people just ignoring hte ads along with the other zillion of ads that we are inundated with as we surf the Web. I still say that a solution now is help now, and that the problem of desensitization is the problem of tomorrows marketing experts.
Me being me, A mover and shaker, and a Do'er by nature, I have decided to put my money where my mouth is. I intend to brain storm to come up with Ice Bucket Challenge level awesomeness to help tap the rich vein of Charitable Donations residing in the bank accounts and pockets of my fellow Digital Revolutionary. And what better platform to start with than my own Twitter Feed and Cam Shows? After all, we all know that Sex Sells ;)
With that in mind, please keep your eyes peeled for suggestions on how to seize YOUR opportunity to make a global difference, as either a fellow Consumer, or a fellow Social Media Guru ;)
For now, if you wish to donate to The Red Cross, please CLICK HERE.
Let me take a few paragraphs to expound on that very broad statement.
I will admit that I am the kind of person who prefers to get my World Event updates via social media, for the simple fact that I can choose to simply skip by the stuff that either annoys or terrifies me. Being an Empath, I have a low threshold for other people's pain. When confronted with too many atrocities at once, it makes me physically ill. Adding to the mix that I have a chronic illness which dictates its terms to both my brain and my body based on the level of physical, mental, or emotional stress that I am under, and you can see why I may choose the role of the ostrich when it comes to details about things like the Baltimore Riots, the ongoing strife in Uganda, the Ebola outbreak, the Earth Quake in Nepal, and so many other tragic World Events.
I will also admit that, again, largely due to being to ill to stay informed, I have not voted for the better part of a decade. Kind of hard to keep up on who is swinging which way in Parliament, when I'm too busy trying to but one foot in front of the other without walking out in front of a bus.
Anyway! Our lively debate was largely based on my opinion that there are not enough blatant opportunities for the Digital Revolutionaries (AKA, the generation who walk around with their faces glued to their social media, with no Earthly idea what is going on overseas if it doesn't involve Prince William, or the release day line ups in Japan for the latest iPhone) to click on a button to donate to organizations that help in Global Relief Efforts such as UNICEF, The Red Cross, the WHO (no, not the Who, the World Health Organization), Doctors Without Borders, The Red Crescent (the Muslim version of the Red Cross), Save The Children, and Many MANY more.
Based on my casual observations, through the lens of both a consumer, and a marketer, it is my opinion that there need to be more Viral, or Bright and Shiny advertisements giving this demographic something to spend their money on that is making a difference in the World Beyond The Screen. Just look at the Ice Bucket Challenge last summer, geared towards raising funds and awareness for ALS. Now, granted, that the challenge was not always done according to the original idea behind it, nor did many even understand that ALS was a degenerative illness, and not American Sign Language. However, that did not stop the ALS foundations from receiving a massive influx of donations! All fueled by the engine that is Social Media!
My soulless ginger of a boyfriend and I ended up agreeing to disagree as to whether flashy catch and grab opportunities will help or hinder the relief efforts in the long run. He maintains that it could lead to a desensitization to what opportunities there are, to the point of people just ignoring hte ads along with the other zillion of ads that we are inundated with as we surf the Web. I still say that a solution now is help now, and that the problem of desensitization is the problem of tomorrows marketing experts.
Me being me, A mover and shaker, and a Do'er by nature, I have decided to put my money where my mouth is. I intend to brain storm to come up with Ice Bucket Challenge level awesomeness to help tap the rich vein of Charitable Donations residing in the bank accounts and pockets of my fellow Digital Revolutionary. And what better platform to start with than my own Twitter Feed and Cam Shows? After all, we all know that Sex Sells ;)
With that in mind, please keep your eyes peeled for suggestions on how to seize YOUR opportunity to make a global difference, as either a fellow Consumer, or a fellow Social Media Guru ;)
For now, if you wish to donate to The Red Cross, please CLICK HERE.
Tuesday, 31 March 2015
The Year of the Red Head
I sort of have this tradition of doing drastic things to my hair whenever there is a major upheaval in my Love Life. So as I traded in a couple of my old Poly Partners for newer models, I decided to try something a little different with my hair, with input from my harem ;)
Here's what we went with.
Here's what we went with.
Beggars and Choosers
People wonder why we, sex workers, get so pissed off when people ask for advice, suggestions, opinions, references, etc, and all for free. Well, your first clue is that we are professionals. You take us seriously because we take ourselves seriously. Asking us for freebies is asking us to bow to hypocrisy and stop taking ourselves seriously, which would be behaviour not worthy of your respect, which would negate you having been interested in our 'help' to begin with. Are you following me, here?
You don't go the the gas station and expect get just enough gas to get home, for free. You don't go to the rib joint down the street and expect them to just hand over their recipe, with their blessing. You don't expect a stranger to drop everything they are currently doing to help you get your business off the ground. So WHY ARE YOU ASKING THIS OF US?!?!?!
Prime example:
So, yesterday, I got a couple of tweets from someone that was representing themselves as a bottom. Came across as male. I cannot recall if their profile listed a gender. Today, I log back on to discover that this person has now decided to try their hand at being a FemDomme, tagging me in a post inviting me to "dominate the worst thing that god made... You know what's that hunnn ... Male Dogs... Hehehe"
In my experience, this person is not a FemDomme, but a person looking to be humiliated without having to pay for the privilege. They chose the wrong person to scream at them, however, as my personal tactics are generally more highbrow than that. There is a chance that I am wrong, and that this was, indeed, a female switch simply going about things the extremely wrong way. Either way, here is our exchange, unedited, for your edification. I apologize in advance for inflicting the poor grammar on you.
_____
Username: cruel mistress @mistress_2
Me: I'm not sure who you think you are, to go from barely coherent posts
about being a slave, and my slave, at that, to claiming to be "the only Goddess on this Earth", but you've irked me. I, and many of us who claim professional status, take our jobs seriously. We have put in time with training, image, marketing, etc. Where does that leave you?
Tuesday, 24 March 2015
Big Changes
Hey guys. I know I made some promises about awesome things to come for April. Turns out, they will be more awesome for me than for you.
A major event in my life has shaken my confidence to the point where I dare not take on new clients in a full service capacity. I a a big believer that a large part of the reason that I have never had a bad experience with a client is because I exude authority and confidence. I no longer feel up to that, and will therefore be taking a huge step back.
I will still be seeing my regular clients, and I will still be up for paid Cam sessions, and regular dates (dinner, movies, etc), as well as providing Coaching services, however, I will not be taking on new apprentices, nor full service clients, for the foreseeable future.
In related news, I will also be relocating to Hamilton, Ont. There will still be occasional trips to Toronto and to London. Likely more often, at least for social events.
My devoted Boy Friend is a Daddy Domme, and we are still doing the open, poly thing. We attend Swinger Parties, and intend to host vid sessions on Chaturbate. He loves to share me, or swap with another Daddy for the evening. So there may be some interesting opportunities for some of you ;) You can bet that my Twitter will be chock full of all sorts of interesting pictures and Vine shorts!
Still have to revamp and renew my Web Page. The current one has lapsed. Don't worry, there will be plenty of pics and vids and posts to be had going forward. I've made the decision that I cannot abide not being involved in the Kink and Sex Work communities, and that I still have much to teach those who wish to learn.
Okay, so this hasn't exactly been eloquent, but it's about to be a busy few days for me, and I wanted to make sure that you all were as in the loop as possible while I start on the next chapter of my personal and professional lives.
Love you all! xoxoxoxo!
Muah!
A major event in my life has shaken my confidence to the point where I dare not take on new clients in a full service capacity. I a a big believer that a large part of the reason that I have never had a bad experience with a client is because I exude authority and confidence. I no longer feel up to that, and will therefore be taking a huge step back.
I will still be seeing my regular clients, and I will still be up for paid Cam sessions, and regular dates (dinner, movies, etc), as well as providing Coaching services, however, I will not be taking on new apprentices, nor full service clients, for the foreseeable future.
In related news, I will also be relocating to Hamilton, Ont. There will still be occasional trips to Toronto and to London. Likely more often, at least for social events.
My devoted Boy Friend is a Daddy Domme, and we are still doing the open, poly thing. We attend Swinger Parties, and intend to host vid sessions on Chaturbate. He loves to share me, or swap with another Daddy for the evening. So there may be some interesting opportunities for some of you ;) You can bet that my Twitter will be chock full of all sorts of interesting pictures and Vine shorts!
Still have to revamp and renew my Web Page. The current one has lapsed. Don't worry, there will be plenty of pics and vids and posts to be had going forward. I've made the decision that I cannot abide not being involved in the Kink and Sex Work communities, and that I still have much to teach those who wish to learn.
Okay, so this hasn't exactly been eloquent, but it's about to be a busy few days for me, and I wanted to make sure that you all were as in the loop as possible while I start on the next chapter of my personal and professional lives.
Love you all! xoxoxoxo!
Muah!
Friday, 27 February 2015
Tales From Angie - Red Flags - Stalker Behaviour
Here is a perfect example of an email thread that should be sending up Red Flags:
_____
StalkerDave: I sure would like to know you ?? Can we have fun ??
Me: Well that depends. Can you afford it, and are you a nice person? ;)
StalkerDave:Yes I can afford it. Iam a very nice person. What about you ?? Where do you live ?? How old are you ??
Me: Well that depends. Can you afford it, and are you a nice person? ;)
StalkerDave:Yes I can afford it. Iam a very nice person. What about you ?? Where do you live ?? How old are you ??
StalkerDave: Are you hot ??
StalkerDave: So did I scare you ??
StalkerDave: So how much ?? ( All Minutes Apart!!! )
StalkerDave: Where did you go ??
StalkerDave: So are we done this early ??
StalkerDave: So want me to tell you more ??
StalkerDave: So are we done this early ??
StalkerDave: So did I scare you ??
StalkerDave: So how much ?? ( All Minutes Apart!!! )
StalkerDave: Where did you go ??
StalkerDave: So are we done this early ??
StalkerDave: So want me to tell you more ??
StalkerDave: So are we done this early ??
Me: Take a deep breath and listen to yourself.
I
am not at your beck and call. I have a life. I do not sit here with
bated breath replying to each message as it comes in. I reply as I am
able between House Work, Social Life, and Work Stuff.StalkerDave: Well do you ever come to the USA ? Also how old are you ??
Me: No. I don't. And this is where I end this conversation.
Good luck and God Speed
StalkerDave: Sorry you feel this way nice to meet you D
Tuesday, 27 January 2015
Angie to Guest Star on Radio Talk Show
UPDATE: Here's the link to listen/download the interview!
Recently, I received an invitation to appear on an Indie, Radio Talk Show. Now, I am the first to admit that I equate the word Indie to Amateur, but not always in a negative context. Amateur simply means that they are still finding their feet, still polishing their process, making mistakes, learning lessons, and learning to navigate the wider world of the Big Pond as a Small Fish.
What this means for me, is that I will enter the situation with my Patience Meter at full, and offer whatever aide I may, as a Small Fish myself who has been traversing the Big Pond long enough to have smacked face first into more than my fair share of walls and Big Fish and lived to tell the tale!
I've had some good and some bad experiences with Indie Productions. Though, admittedly, the only time that it's been bad is when I didn't realized that it was an Indie Production. I get a little miffed when I think I'm dealing with a seasoned professional and then discover that the truth couldn't be farther from the truth.
I am well and truly looking forward to working with Kinte, and his co-host. I've spoken with Kinte already, in a pre-interview conversation. I think that we both came away with a glowing admiration for one another, I know I certainly did of him! I've been given the privileged of a look at his list of upcoming shows, and if all goes well for each of us, I think you can look forward to hearing my dulcet tones over the radio waves more than once, as I chime in on different topics that are of interest to myself and my fan-base.
This time round, here's what's on the adgenda: (Copied from The Facebook Page)
Recently, I received an invitation to appear on an Indie, Radio Talk Show. Now, I am the first to admit that I equate the word Indie to Amateur, but not always in a negative context. Amateur simply means that they are still finding their feet, still polishing their process, making mistakes, learning lessons, and learning to navigate the wider world of the Big Pond as a Small Fish.
What this means for me, is that I will enter the situation with my Patience Meter at full, and offer whatever aide I may, as a Small Fish myself who has been traversing the Big Pond long enough to have smacked face first into more than my fair share of walls and Big Fish and lived to tell the tale!
I've had some good and some bad experiences with Indie Productions. Though, admittedly, the only time that it's been bad is when I didn't realized that it was an Indie Production. I get a little miffed when I think I'm dealing with a seasoned professional and then discover that the truth couldn't be farther from the truth.
I am well and truly looking forward to working with Kinte, and his co-host. I've spoken with Kinte already, in a pre-interview conversation. I think that we both came away with a glowing admiration for one another, I know I certainly did of him! I've been given the privileged of a look at his list of upcoming shows, and if all goes well for each of us, I think you can look forward to hearing my dulcet tones over the radio waves more than once, as I chime in on different topics that are of interest to myself and my fan-base.
This time round, here's what's on the adgenda: (Copied from The Facebook Page)
_____
Monday, February 23
Monday, February 23
6pm PST / 9pm EST
Location: http://indyradio.org/
Synopsis:
Episode 47 are you lonely would like someone of the opposite sex to spend time with but can't find some one why not pay for it. We will be talking about The Girlfriend Experience with Angie Nash @NerdyCompanionhttps://twitter.com/
Hosts Kinte IndyShowcase & Acuminous Watanabe
Guest: Angie Nash @NerdyCompanion https://twitter.com/
Website: http://angienash42.com/
Blog: http://
Twitter: https://twitter.com/
Reddit: AngieNash42
Skype: AngieNash42
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/
G+: https://plus.google.com/u/
Ask.Fm: http://ask.fm/AngieNash42
Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/
Girlfriend Experience http://
When an escort offers a service more akin to a 'real' relationship rather than just sex. The escort may go with the payer to dinner / the movies etc and engage in conversation, kissing and so forth, before retiring for sex (as what might occur when dating). Men who indulge in such Girlfriend Experiences with escorts are said to be enjoying The Hobby.
It's get the Girlfriend Experience - I don't need to try to impress her - she'll come out with me on the town and later I get garunteed sex. But she is still a prostitute, it costs me." ... "What's the difference between that and when you were going out with my sister?
Location: http://indyradio.org/
Synopsis:
Episode 47 are you lonely would like someone of the opposite sex to spend time with but can't find some one why not pay for it. We will be talking about The Girlfriend Experience with Angie Nash @NerdyCompanionhttps://twitter.com/
Hosts Kinte IndyShowcase & Acuminous Watanabe
Guest: Angie Nash @NerdyCompanion https://twitter.com/
Website: http://angienash42.com/
Blog: http://
Twitter: https://twitter.com/
Reddit: AngieNash42
Skype: AngieNash42
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/
G+: https://plus.google.com/u/
Ask.Fm: http://ask.fm/AngieNash42
Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/
Girlfriend Experience http://
When an escort offers a service more akin to a 'real' relationship rather than just sex. The escort may go with the payer to dinner / the movies etc and engage in conversation, kissing and so forth, before retiring for sex (as what might occur when dating). Men who indulge in such Girlfriend Experiences with escorts are said to be enjoying The Hobby.
It's get the Girlfriend Experience - I don't need to try to impress her - she'll come out with me on the town and later I get garunteed sex. But she is still a prostitute, it costs me." ... "What's the difference between that and when you were going out with my sister?
_____
So tune in to hear my thoughts on the matter, and how I got into the Sex Worker Industry, and how and why I implemented the Companion Model.
Sunday, 18 January 2015
Commission Your Own Erotica!
Have you always wanted to star in your own erotica scene? Looking to participate in a sexual, text RP? Want to exchange chapters of a sexy story with a sexy Lady? Then you've come to the right place!
Base offer: $100 for 750 words.
Other options to be discussed with the author.
Samples:
Cams smile was dark, his sensuous lips curving to show his white teeth. “Yes, pleasure indeed.” His heavy lidded eyes went back to watch Jade with predatory intent as Mal was poured a glass of wine and offered a plate of food from one of the Handmaids.
Jade came forward to kneel on the cushion to the side of Cameron's chair, and settled into the pose known as téigh ar do ghlúine, the customary position of
submission. Her feet tucked neatly beneath her bum, her knees evenly spaced and holding her weight, her back straight and supple, head bowed and her eyes cast demurely down to her hands, which she kept folded in her lap.
Cameron's voice was husky, “Take a glass of wine Jade.” Once she had done so, and replaced the glass on the table, he said “Disrobe, and stand on the block. She let the robe fall from her shoulders to pool in a slithering rush of heavy silk at
her feet and walked to the polished wooden block in the middle of the room, she took her place on it and stood with her hands on her head, her silky black hair hanging loose to her hips, one foot in front of the other, one hip canted up, back straight and head high. She kept her eyes to the floor and waited, knowing that the men's eyes followed her.
“She makes a stunning decoration” Mal observed, enjoying his wine. “She does at that” Cameron murmured, his eyes caressing this most beautiful and precious of objects, his Jade.
He threw back the last of his wine and rising, took the black silk mask from the table. “Step down” he ordered her, and after she’d complied, He fitted the mask over Jades emerald eyes, knowing how erotic she found it when those emotionless eyes were covered and she couldn’t see. It was an enormous bond
of trust between them that she allowed it. He enjoyed watching her breathing quicken as he took her vision from her. He leaned down, and grasping her face between his hands he kissed her, deeply, lovingly, lingering over her mouth and tongue. Reveling in the taste of her, the catch of her breath as he caught her up.
He tasted of the dark, thick, wine as he kissed her and Jade surrendered her control to him in an almost painful relief. His hands drew down over her jaw and throat, skimming her collar of gemstones and down over her shoulders. His hands were firm and warm as he slid them down her biceps and down to grasp her wrists.
“Walk backwards” he ordered, his voice husky with arousal. He guided her with his hands on her wrists, holding them to her sides, and when he had her where he wanted her, he lifted one wrist and secured it with a leather manacle, the chains clinking above her head. He buckled her into the suspension harness, and a vibrator belt and then backed away. While not quite helpless, as she still had the use of her legs, she felt quite at a disadvantage as he left her. She heard the murmuring of the men's voices, but she was at sufficient distance and they quiet enough that she couldn’t understand their discussion.
The hum of the machinery and the clank of the chains was the loudest thing in the room, as one of the men raised the suspension harness so that she barely touched the floor with her toes. Two sets of warm hands took her by the knees, and she felt the thigh straps being buckled on, then the waist belt, the chains were tightened up and she was completely at their mercy. Suspended by the arms, waist and thighs, her legs were spread wide, her weight held relatively comfortably by the padded bindings. She felt her labia swell and dampen, unfurling her damp folds as she felt their eyes on her. The sheer helplessness that she felt was so erotic to her, it made her lower belly melt and her clitoris throb and tingle in anticipation.
The padding of bare male feet came to her, and she was surrounded front and back by hard male chests. They pressed to her, and their body types were similar enough that she couldn’t tell who was before and who was behind. The height of the sling was exactly right to brush her open sex over a hard cock in front, and the man behind her held her tightly against him, pressing his hardness to her lower back. She gasped, they hadn’t done this before, but she knew what was in store as it was a common activity in the training facility, and she groaned with need. They were silent, completely, keeping the mystery of who was where for her as the man in front of her grasped her behind the waist and slid his hardness up and down her slick slit, playing with her entrance until she was squirming with need. He took pity on her and slid that hardness up into her body, stretching her deliciously. She leaned her head on the shoulder of the man behind her, and enjoyed the feel of each delicious inch pressing into her body, sliding out, slowly, so slowly, then back in…with a low pitched cry, she came, orgasming in waves of pleasure as slow as the man working in and out of her body. When the spasms eased, she lay suspended in luscious lassitude. The man in front of her braced her, deeply planted between her legs and took hold o her arse cheeks to hold her steady, planting his hard cock deep into her body as he did so.
The man behind her slid a lubricated hand over her anus, slipping a deft finger inside to spread the lubrication around, and she came again, clenching her muscles around the cock inside of her.
One of the men turned on the vibrator, making her squirm as the pulsing started. The man in front of her, buried inside of her, held her arse cheeks spread and leaned back to allow the other man full access.
That man slid his warm hands down over her back to the swell of her hips to hold her still and she felt his cock pushing against her anus. With a shiver of pleasure and an almost painful tightening of her nipples, she relaxed her sphincter and gasped as the head of him slid slowly inside. The one in front held her tightly as the one in back slowly stretched her ass to accommodate him. She came as he pushed inside, filling her up, two cocks, two gorgeously hard, hairy bodies. When he was planted as deeply as he could, they jacked her up into a modified hammock hold and moved at the same time. They pressed tight to her body on either side, and she surged with pleasure at the sensation of being surrounded by and penetrated so deeply, filled so very full with sheer maleness.
When they started to move, they moved slowly at first, giving her muscles time to accept the use they were being put to, she felt another orgasm building, a delicious hot pooling of sensation in her legs, climbing like molten honey to become rippling spasms of pure pleasure as they pumped into her, and as she came she screamed a throaty, husky scream that filled the room, echoing from the stone walls around them. Her body squeezed the length of them inside of her, filling her. She screamed with the pleasure as their synchronized thrusting filled her, over and over again, faster, harder, stretching her, making her feel like she’d burst.
The hard, fast past didn’t last long, the tightness of her body being filled like this worked for them as well as for her, and they came, each in turn, their strangled groans still not telling her who was where. The hot, pulsing jets of their orgasms filled her and sent her rocketing over the edge of another orgasmic plateau that left her limp and gasping in the harness.
One by one, they eased away from her, and out of her, leaving her suspended, cum dripped from her body to land with small dripping sounds on
the floor underneath her. She let her head hang back on her neck and shoulders, all of her weight suspended by the padded leather harness and just floated with the endorphin rush from the experience.
She heard the servants helping the men quickly shower, and then she was helped from her bindings by gentle, firm hands. Her legs felt as weak as a newborn colts as she put her weight on them, and her wrists were sore, but in a delicious, well used way. When her blindfold was removed, it was Mal who was grinning that lecherous, pleased grin of his at her, his hands who guided her to a handmaiden, who helped her clean up.
When she came out of the showers, she actually blushed, something she never did. Looking at the two beautiful men seated calmly where they had been, she still didn’t know who had been who, and she was delightfully embarrassed as she met each of their eyes before going to sit curled on her floor pillow at Cameron's side and rested her head on his knee. He played with her hair as she sipped at the wine he handed her, and picked at the plate of food he set on the floor near her knees. She sighed with utter repletion, surrendering to him, to them, eased her soul in a way she had never really understood, but after years of practice, she simply sighed again and enjoyed the rush of emotions that she rarely felt with any other people, and rarely in any other situation. If she’d been a cat, she’d have been purring.
He moved up silently behind her, and before she knew it, his hand was buried deep in the hair at the nape of her neck and she was pushed forward, her face pressed against the wood, the fecund scent of soil filling her nose. His other hand rapidly pulled up her skirt and finding she’d not worn undergarments, in hopeful anticipation of a visit from him, he chuckled, that sound a deep, thrilling pleasure that sent chills up her spine and made her body ache to be filled.
He seemed to sense her need, he slid a gentle hand over her plump wet labia and finding her ready for him, he used his foot to nudge her feet further apart as he freed himself from his leathers. Then with a smooth, firm thrust he was inside of her. She groaned and pushed back, impaling herself as deeply as she could, he obliged her need by setting a rapid pace, thrusting in and out of her snug wetness. The potting bench jostled and creaked with the pace, and her nails pressed small white half moons into the wood as he rode her, his hand grasping her hair and controlling her head. She came, hard, crying out in release, he didn’t let up, stroking her into another climax, sheathing his hardness inside of her ripe body, sending them both to the edge and over. His roar as he came and the spurting hot feel of him coming inside her sent her over the brink again, colors splintering behind her closed lids as they both rode the rush. He lay on her back for a moment, catching his breath before he placed a gentle kiss on her sweat dampened neck and withdrew from her body. The rush of his seed down her legs was an incredible turn on, and she found herself sighing in anticipation of their next session.
Samples:
Base offer: $100 for 750 words.
Other options to be discussed with the author.
The Authors:
Kaelan Rhywiol -
Email Request Details to Kaelan.Rhywiol@Gmail.Com
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Follow her on Twitter: @KaelanRhy
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Samples:
Suspension:
Kaelan Rhywiol
Jade came forward to kneel on the cushion to the side of Cameron's chair, and settled into the pose known as téigh ar do ghlúine, the customary position of
submission. Her feet tucked neatly beneath her bum, her knees evenly spaced and holding her weight, her back straight and supple, head bowed and her eyes cast demurely down to her hands, which she kept folded in her lap.
Cameron's voice was husky, “Take a glass of wine Jade.” Once she had done so, and replaced the glass on the table, he said “Disrobe, and stand on the block. She let the robe fall from her shoulders to pool in a slithering rush of heavy silk at
her feet and walked to the polished wooden block in the middle of the room, she took her place on it and stood with her hands on her head, her silky black hair hanging loose to her hips, one foot in front of the other, one hip canted up, back straight and head high. She kept her eyes to the floor and waited, knowing that the men's eyes followed her.
“She makes a stunning decoration” Mal observed, enjoying his wine. “She does at that” Cameron murmured, his eyes caressing this most beautiful and precious of objects, his Jade.
He threw back the last of his wine and rising, took the black silk mask from the table. “Step down” he ordered her, and after she’d complied, He fitted the mask over Jades emerald eyes, knowing how erotic she found it when those emotionless eyes were covered and she couldn’t see. It was an enormous bond
of trust between them that she allowed it. He enjoyed watching her breathing quicken as he took her vision from her. He leaned down, and grasping her face between his hands he kissed her, deeply, lovingly, lingering over her mouth and tongue. Reveling in the taste of her, the catch of her breath as he caught her up.
He tasted of the dark, thick, wine as he kissed her and Jade surrendered her control to him in an almost painful relief. His hands drew down over her jaw and throat, skimming her collar of gemstones and down over her shoulders. His hands were firm and warm as he slid them down her biceps and down to grasp her wrists.
“Walk backwards” he ordered, his voice husky with arousal. He guided her with his hands on her wrists, holding them to her sides, and when he had her where he wanted her, he lifted one wrist and secured it with a leather manacle, the chains clinking above her head. He buckled her into the suspension harness, and a vibrator belt and then backed away. While not quite helpless, as she still had the use of her legs, she felt quite at a disadvantage as he left her. She heard the murmuring of the men's voices, but she was at sufficient distance and they quiet enough that she couldn’t understand their discussion.
The hum of the machinery and the clank of the chains was the loudest thing in the room, as one of the men raised the suspension harness so that she barely touched the floor with her toes. Two sets of warm hands took her by the knees, and she felt the thigh straps being buckled on, then the waist belt, the chains were tightened up and she was completely at their mercy. Suspended by the arms, waist and thighs, her legs were spread wide, her weight held relatively comfortably by the padded bindings. She felt her labia swell and dampen, unfurling her damp folds as she felt their eyes on her. The sheer helplessness that she felt was so erotic to her, it made her lower belly melt and her clitoris throb and tingle in anticipation.
The padding of bare male feet came to her, and she was surrounded front and back by hard male chests. They pressed to her, and their body types were similar enough that she couldn’t tell who was before and who was behind. The height of the sling was exactly right to brush her open sex over a hard cock in front, and the man behind her held her tightly against him, pressing his hardness to her lower back. She gasped, they hadn’t done this before, but she knew what was in store as it was a common activity in the training facility, and she groaned with need. They were silent, completely, keeping the mystery of who was where for her as the man in front of her grasped her behind the waist and slid his hardness up and down her slick slit, playing with her entrance until she was squirming with need. He took pity on her and slid that hardness up into her body, stretching her deliciously. She leaned her head on the shoulder of the man behind her, and enjoyed the feel of each delicious inch pressing into her body, sliding out, slowly, so slowly, then back in…with a low pitched cry, she came, orgasming in waves of pleasure as slow as the man working in and out of her body. When the spasms eased, she lay suspended in luscious lassitude. The man in front of her braced her, deeply planted between her legs and took hold o her arse cheeks to hold her steady, planting his hard cock deep into her body as he did so.
The man behind her slid a lubricated hand over her anus, slipping a deft finger inside to spread the lubrication around, and she came again, clenching her muscles around the cock inside of her.
One of the men turned on the vibrator, making her squirm as the pulsing started. The man in front of her, buried inside of her, held her arse cheeks spread and leaned back to allow the other man full access.
That man slid his warm hands down over her back to the swell of her hips to hold her still and she felt his cock pushing against her anus. With a shiver of pleasure and an almost painful tightening of her nipples, she relaxed her sphincter and gasped as the head of him slid slowly inside. The one in front held her tightly as the one in back slowly stretched her ass to accommodate him. She came as he pushed inside, filling her up, two cocks, two gorgeously hard, hairy bodies. When he was planted as deeply as he could, they jacked her up into a modified hammock hold and moved at the same time. They pressed tight to her body on either side, and she surged with pleasure at the sensation of being surrounded by and penetrated so deeply, filled so very full with sheer maleness.
When they started to move, they moved slowly at first, giving her muscles time to accept the use they were being put to, she felt another orgasm building, a delicious hot pooling of sensation in her legs, climbing like molten honey to become rippling spasms of pure pleasure as they pumped into her, and as she came she screamed a throaty, husky scream that filled the room, echoing from the stone walls around them. Her body squeezed the length of them inside of her, filling her. She screamed with the pleasure as their synchronized thrusting filled her, over and over again, faster, harder, stretching her, making her feel like she’d burst.
The hard, fast past didn’t last long, the tightness of her body being filled like this worked for them as well as for her, and they came, each in turn, their strangled groans still not telling her who was where. The hot, pulsing jets of their orgasms filled her and sent her rocketing over the edge of another orgasmic plateau that left her limp and gasping in the harness.
One by one, they eased away from her, and out of her, leaving her suspended, cum dripped from her body to land with small dripping sounds on
the floor underneath her. She let her head hang back on her neck and shoulders, all of her weight suspended by the padded leather harness and just floated with the endorphin rush from the experience.
She heard the servants helping the men quickly shower, and then she was helped from her bindings by gentle, firm hands. Her legs felt as weak as a newborn colts as she put her weight on them, and her wrists were sore, but in a delicious, well used way. When her blindfold was removed, it was Mal who was grinning that lecherous, pleased grin of his at her, his hands who guided her to a handmaiden, who helped her clean up.
When she came out of the showers, she actually blushed, something she never did. Looking at the two beautiful men seated calmly where they had been, she still didn’t know who had been who, and she was delightfully embarrassed as she met each of their eyes before going to sit curled on her floor pillow at Cameron's side and rested her head on his knee. He played with her hair as she sipped at the wine he handed her, and picked at the plate of food he set on the floor near her knees. She sighed with utter repletion, surrendering to him, to them, eased her soul in a way she had never really understood, but after years of practice, she simply sighed again and enjoyed the rush of emotions that she rarely felt with any other people, and rarely in any other situation. If she’d been a cat, she’d have been purring.
_______
Gardening:
Kaelan Rhywiol
He moved up silently behind her, and before she knew it, his hand was buried deep in the hair at the nape of her neck and she was pushed forward, her face pressed against the wood, the fecund scent of soil filling her nose. His other hand rapidly pulled up her skirt and finding she’d not worn undergarments, in hopeful anticipation of a visit from him, he chuckled, that sound a deep, thrilling pleasure that sent chills up her spine and made her body ache to be filled.
He seemed to sense her need, he slid a gentle hand over her plump wet labia and finding her ready for him, he used his foot to nudge her feet further apart as he freed himself from his leathers. Then with a smooth, firm thrust he was inside of her. She groaned and pushed back, impaling herself as deeply as she could, he obliged her need by setting a rapid pace, thrusting in and out of her snug wetness. The potting bench jostled and creaked with the pace, and her nails pressed small white half moons into the wood as he rode her, his hand grasping her hair and controlling her head. She came, hard, crying out in release, he didn’t let up, stroking her into another climax, sheathing his hardness inside of her ripe body, sending them both to the edge and over. His roar as he came and the spurting hot feel of him coming inside her sent her over the brink again, colors splintering behind her closed lids as they both rode the rush. He lay on her back for a moment, catching his breath before he placed a gentle kiss on her sweat dampened neck and withdrew from her body. The rush of his seed down her legs was an incredible turn on, and she found herself sighing in anticipation of their next session.
Angie Nash -
Email Request Details to TheNerdyCompanion@Gmail.Com
Follow her on Twitter: @NerdyCompanion
Find her on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/angie.nash.3998
Follow her on Twitter: @NerdyCompanion
Find her on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/angie.nash.3998
Samples:
Siblings: Dessert Island:
Angie Nash
They were the only survivors of the plane crash. Angie looked up at her brother with an unmistakable plea in her eyes. “I don’t want to die a virgin, John…” She let the statement hang in the air between them, heavy with meaning, and potential.
John cleared his throat, blushing. He’d caught himself thinking much the same thing about his gorgeous baby sister, that he didn’t want to live his life as some celibate monk, and that she was always his closest love in life, even in the brief time he’d been married. ”And what would you like to do about that, Little One? Shall I go find you a Jungle Dweller to take your virginity?” he asked, teasing gently.
She stuck her tongue out at his suggestion, and boldly repositioned herself til she was straddling him. She grinned as she felt his erection bob against her through his shorts. “Or, you could be the gallant big brother, and do it yourself.” Her tone was soft and loving, but her eyes were sultry and her lips were hovering over his.
She had never been one to tease him, and he had never been able to deny her anything, so it did not surprise her when her brother closed the gap between their lips and enfolded her in his arms, pressing her down onto his straining erection.
Angie moaned into the kiss, twining her fingers into his unkempt hair. Her brother groaned against her lips, his tongue plundering her mouth as he finally gave in to two weeks of pent of rage and stress at their situation.
Just as he was about to pull back and apologize for his rough handling of her, his sister responded to his vigor by grinding against him and nipping at his top lip, gently. He groaned, his cock throbbing at her enthusiasm, and he started unfastening her buttons, fighting the urge to simply tear them asunder.
Angie remained still, biting her lip as she watches his barely contained lust. She’d always loved her brother, he’d always protected her, supported her, sacrificed so much for her. She was well aware that their close relationship is what ruined his marriage. Somehow this felt like recompense for that. Not that she was throwing herself at him through some misplaced sense of guilt! She had meant what she’d said. She’d woken every morning in the circle of his arms and felt his morning wood pressed against her. She knew it was just a normal body thing, that there was nothing behind it, but she’d found herself fantasizing that there was, that he would plant that staff within her folds...
Finally, he undid the last button and stripped her shirt down her arms and tossed it aside. He made quick work of her bra, throwing it to join the growing pile of discarded clothing.
John stared up at his sister, his hands cupping her face tenderly before he let his eyes fix on her tits, bared above him. He cupped both globes in his sand roughened hands and caressed and squeezed. Angie looked down at him, biting her lip, and stifling another moan as her brother mauled her chest.
Soon, they were a mass of groaning, grunting, moaning, whimpering limbs, as they tore the remaining clothing from one another, kissing and groping each other. John guided his sister’s hesitant hands to his cock, wrapping her fingers around his shaft and helping her find the right rhythm to jerk him off while he buried two fingers in her eager cunt, moaning against her hungry mouth as he finds her sopping wet.
Angie panted between kisses as her brother finger fucked her, her tight cunt hugging his fingers as they piston in and out of her. She whimpered and wrapped her arms tighter around his neck as she felt the orgasm building quickly within her. She cried out and dug her nails into his shoulder as the dam burst. They were both surprised when she squirted as she came. Angie started to panic, thinking she has pissed on him. John soothed his baby sister, explaining that sometime a woman also ejaculates during orgasm. She settled, but still blushed as she kissed his face tenderly. “Fuck me, Johnny,” she cooed. “Fuck your little sister.”
“As you wish.”
That’s when John woke up, finding himself still on the plane, his sister’s head on his shoulder, and a raging hard on in his pants. He groaned in frustration, and Angie stirred in her sleep, snuggling closer.
_____
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